Handparting

These rituals are often missing from our lives but are important as a way to midwife the change in identity and role, and integrate the new reality into your spiritual and emotional being.

Thinking about ending a relationship can be overwhelming. A ritual to mark the end of a marriage or partnership (and perhaps to define the beginning of a new type of relationship) can help each of you make the transition. You had a ceremony to mark the creation of this family constellation. The dissolution and redefinition is no less important and sacred. Transitions are made more easily when accompanied by time-honored ritual.

Having a minister there can create structure, provide you with the wisdom of experience, and create a space that can bring the sacred to this painful event. Each handparting is unique to the people creating it and the larger family it is re-inventing. We can create one from scratch or use a template or a combination of the two. Typically I will meet with each of the participants once in the weeks before the service. You will create, and print if desired, the order of service based on the elements we choose and create. We will meet together 15 minutes before the service to become centered and have some private time. The minister will check in with you after the service and leave shortly after the ceremony. A typical handparting runs 30 minutes.

NO, this will not take care of legal elements of a marriage being dissolved, it is to address the emotional, social, and spiritual aspects of this parting.

If you would like to work with me on a handparting I'll need some information from you.

(feel free to e-mail to me, or call me with the info, or provide it at our first meeting.)

PLEASE review the fee structure (below). Please indicate that you understand the fee structure (or ask to negotiate a different amount.)

1. Type of relationship being ended

  • a. Marriage? How are the legal elements being addressed?
  • b. Co-parenting? How will the new model of parenting look?
  • c. Friendship/Business partnership?
  • d. Other?

2. Primary Contacts

  • a. names of the individuals jointly choosing to end their partnership
  • b. preferred contact methods
  • c. cell phone number (in case of emergency)
  • d. any alternate contact people

3. Ceremony

  • a. location, incl. address and phone
  • b. time
  • c. date
  • d. any wishes you are already aware of regarding the ceremony

4. What are the religious/spiritual views of those who will be attending (for instance, is there a term or tradition that needs to be avoided/included such as the word "Christ" or the poetry of a particular poet.)

5. Participation

  • a. Who will you invite to participate? (Music? Speaking?)
  • b. Who will you invite to attend? (will this be a private event? Will children be present? Other family or supportive friends?

6. Please think about

  • a. The gifts you have given one another during your partnership
  • b. Your intentions for the relationship in the near and long term
  • c. Any promises you wish to be released from
  • d. Any promises you wish to make

Honoraria:

Handparting: $200; alternatively, 10% of total budget. Add current IRS mileage allowance and lodging if out of area

(UUMA scale of minimum fees)